Relate South Essex

Frequently Asked Questions

Will counselling work?

Counselling will give you an opportunity to explore the issues that are causing you problems. For many people this is the only opportunity they have to talk about their difficulty without pressure to behave in a certain way or be given direct advice about what to do. Counsellors do not give advice but may ask questions which will encourage you to think about things, sometimes differently, and will help you communicate your needs. For many people counselling helps them resolve their problems although it is not the solution for everyone. If you attend for one session, the first assessment session, you will have a better idea about whether counselling is the right thing for you.

How long will it take?

Each counselling sessions lasts between 50 minutes to 1 hour and appointments are usually offered weekly, at the same time, at the same venue and with the same counsellor. Your counsellor will talk with you about the time framework and may suggest an initial working plan of around 6 - 8 weeks. At the end of this time you can review your progress and decide whether to continue or finish counselling. It is always your choice.

Can I come on my own?

You can attend by yourself or with your partner. Sometimes people start on their own and later ask their partner to come as well.

Do I have to be married or in a relationship?

No, we work with people who are single, living in a committed relationship, married, separated or divorced.

Have you got disabled access and toilet facilities?

Yes in both Centres at Southend and Basildon. Please let the appointment secretary know when you are booking the appointment so that we can ensure that a downstairs counselling room is available.

How much does it cost?

Please see our costs section for a breakdown of suggested donations for our services.

Is there a waiting-list?

We try to offer all first appointments within 14 days of your enquiry. Sometimes you will have a first meeting with a counsellor and will be put on a short waiting list until a suitable time is available for you otherwise you will continue to meet with that counsellor.

We offer appointments on four evenings per week in Southend and Basildon . If your availability is limited it is likely that you will wait longer for an appointment than if you can attend at any time and at short notice.

Can same sex partners come along?

Of course. Counselling is available for individuals and couples whether they are the same sex or not.

What will happen when I telephone?

The appointments secretaries are there to offer you as much information as possible. They will offer you a first appointment or, if you prefer, they will send you some more detailed information. At times when we are particularly busy they may ask for your details and contact you later with an appointment.

What will happen when I attend?

The first meeting with a counsellor is an opportunity for you to ask all the questions you need to and make sure that we are the right agency to help you.

There are tea and coffee facilities in the waiting room and you will find that we try very hard to keep to appointment times. The sessions do not last longer than an hour and the counsellor will be responsible for keeping the time.

Is counselling confidential?

We will not contact your partner without your knowledge or permission. If you leave a telephone number or a mobile phone number please give clear instructions about your availability. When phoning we do not say who we are until we are certain that a named person has answered the telephone but if you have other people in the house or lend your mobile phone to someone else please make sure we know about it.

Is there an age limit?

Relationship counselling is available for people aged 16 years and above. There is no upper age limit. Youth counselling is available for young people aged 14 - 21 years whilst they are in full time study.

Who are Relate South Essex counsellors?

Relate counsellors have been selected and trained by Central Relate. Some of our staff have other counselling qualifications and have completed additional training in working with couples.

I've never had a relationship, can I still attend?

Yes. Relate South Essex is all about relationships and if you have never had an intimate, adult, couple relationship you may want to discuss this and have an opportunity to explore why making relationships is a problem for you.

Are you affiliated to a Church?

No, we are a secular organisation although individual counsellors may have their own religious beliefs.

Things are not quite right, but we are not in crisis? Is it worth attending?

Yes. Counselling can be very helpful if you are still talking and motivated to improve your relationship. It is much better to attend before the crisis because your emotional energies can be focused on working together instead of managing your trauma.

I have problems with my stepson/daughter/former partner. What can you offer me?

Our mediation service offers appointments for family members who need to negotiate difficulties. The focus of this service is the here and now and the future. We also offer appointments for family counselling.